Finally, after 3 years of aggressive outbursts, meltdowns, anxiety, and hyperfocused obsessions, we finally have the diagnosis that we have suspected for a long time. Aspergers Syndrome.
What is that you find yourself asking? It is on the Autism Spectrum, sometimes also called high-functioning Autism.
A child with Aspergers typically has an above average vocabulary and is of average-to-above average intelligence. If left alone in his room to play, Ezra could create very elaborate contraptions and Lego ships/vehicles/trebuchets and then show them to us and explain in just as elaborate vocabulary every detail to the point that when the shock wore off, we'd get bored!
I never thought that there was something wrong with Ezra until about three years ago when he was kicked out of daycare and then kindergarten. One part of me was happy that he didn't fit into the norm of children who had been in daycare since the age of 6 weeks. But when it became apparent that he couldn't deal with the activities that surrounded him and we as a family were being driven to the point of distruction, something had to be done.
Ezra was diagnosed with ADHD. This was a temporary relief. I was both depressed and relieved at this result and Ezra was put on the dreaded Ritalin. I felt like the worst mother EVER! Some of Ezra's symptoms decreased but it wasn't a cure all. In fact, the drugs did take the edge off, but Ezra lost his ambition and joy for being out and about, his enthusiasm for exploring. His sleep was messed up and he lost so much weight he was beginning to look like a Meth addict. On top of the side affects, Ezra was still being aggressive at school and have meltdowns in class. His anxiety level is off the chart prompting him to bolt from the classroom and run - teachers chasing close behind.
This was more than ADHD. Ryan and I both knew deep down that there was more to it. Ryan went online and did some research, finding information on Aspergers Syndrome that sounded EXACTLY like Ezra. We took our new information to the doctor to diagnosed Ezra with ADHD and he quickly shot down everything we said. Basically telling us that he is the expert in this field with all of the meetings he attends on this subject and Ezra is not Autistic. Of course the doctor took two hours to tell us that we were wrong and he was right, over and over. We were both fed up and decided that we were done with this guy.
We knew there was something more going on than just ADHD and with the negative side effects, I wanted him off of the medication. I am no stranger to alternative medicine and had did a google search on homeopathy and ADHD. My results turned up two doctors, a husband and wife team who are nationally and globally recognized for treating children with ADHD and other disorders. To keep it brief, we took him there and had great results, yet there were still those lingering issues as Ezra was still on the medication.
Finally, help was found in one of the more unexpected ways - public school. I say that because it seems typically that schools label boys as bullies or trouble makers and just ship them off to another school, or worse, kick them out. Ezra's school rallied around him. They did evaluations and had conferences with the intention of getting Ezra into a Special Ed program so that he can have help in class. The school psychologist gave us a card for ASTAR in downtown Seattle and told us that a friend of hers has a child with Autism and that ASTAR was an amazing help for her.
One day in May I drove Ezra and my past-due date pregnant self down to ASTAR for his initial intake then back a month later with newborn in tow for testing, it seemed like they thought he was displaying typical ADHD signs. I felt that they weren't seeing Ezra in all of his meltdown glory, they were not getting the full picture. Thankfully, the tester admitted that these tests showed the children at their best and that she would like to see him get mad. She wanted to do an in-school eval.
Months later, that eval was done and a report was sent out to me and the school. The tester from ASTAR said he is definitely on the Spectrum with Aspergers.
You would think that a parent would be sad at the diagnosis, but I have to say that I am thrilled to finally have a proper diagnosis so that now we can move forward with the appropriate methods in dealing with a child with Aspergers. It also allows us as parents to let go of a lot of frustration and anger that we have been carrying around wondering why our child does the things he does or doesn't do and to know that all those things that usually bring us to our own meltdown point are normal in the Asperger child and so we can give each other a bit of a break.
The next step is to educate ourselves so that we can help Ezra experience his world as a happy person and so that we can be a happy family. Bookstores here we come!!!
