I'm really not sure what I am going to post about. Maybe it's more of a summary of the last few months. Who is interested? Who knows. Maybe no body but it's more of an assignment for me in order to process through to where my mind is today.
I survived another year without my father. Nine years, September 11th. It seems crazy that I can miss him so much even after all this time...
I have been feeling a sort of softening of my mind lately. Not a squishy thoughtless softening, but a path of less resistance. I still struggle with getting hooked into the battles of the ego but it feels easier to realize what is happening and then to let it go. For some reason, lately, when I see other's suffering and struggles, it has made me realize how fortunate my life is and that it doesn't have to be as hard as I make it out to be sometimes. Hopefully my heart will follow and it too will begin to soften. I would love to physically feel love bursting forth from body, moment to moment.
Is it bliss I want? I have had those moments of bliss, but they are temporary and I feel like I spend every day trying to get back there!