Monday Morning Rant

I am so out of it today. Last night was a horrible night sleep with baby girl waking up what seemed like every hour. She has been out of sorts ever since we went camping. I don't know if it's coincidental but she seemed pretty unhappy when we were camping constantly whining and wanting to breastfeed.

Even after two weeks (going on three now), she is still pretty whiny. She's been sleeping a lot too. I am thinking that she is probably growing and teething at the same time. I know that she is probably in a lot of pain but it is hard on us too when we don't get any sleep and all we can do is give her Tylenol.

Our neighbors don't help either. I am getting pretty fed up with their b.s. Every week there is a fight with the woman throwing the man out. In the middle of the night we are woken by what sounds like bodies being slammed against the wall or floor. Stomping up and down the stairs, slamming of doors and the yelling and screaming. This also happens in the middle of the day like it did yesterday. My kids get to hear that and feel the negativity.

We moved out of a place because the walls were like paper and the neighbors upstairs would be awake 24/7 playing music, video games, movies, tapping, dropping stuff. It was constant, and when you have a baby that you are trying to get to sleep through the night, it doesn't really work. Especially when you are trying to sleep through the night and get woken up several times in one night.

So we move from the lower rent large apartment community to a smaller more expensive place in hopes that the type of people who could afford to live there would have a higher standard of living and basically be more respectful of their neighbors. But of course...we end up living next door to the crazy lady of the complex. It's our karma I guess.

I am just really upset that we have to live next to this woman and my kids are exposed to the sounds of the fighting. Last night I got so mad with the yelling and door slamming I just lost it myself and opened up the door at started yelling at her closed door saying WTF! I'm sick of their b.s. and slammed the door. After I did that I called up the manager and left a pissed off message. We've been putting up with this woman since we moved in. Never complained, came close to calling the police a few times. The first day we moved in there was a repo man asking US questions about the woman and telling us that he was going to repo her car. That was the first red flag.

Still, we put up with the fighting and the occasional sounds of them having sex because it really wasn't as bad as we had at the other place....but yesterday I finally reached my limit.

Sounds of movies, music and video games really aren't as destructive as hearing people not only verbally fighting all the time but physically fighting. I understand that people argue and have fights, but when you see a constant pattern that when certain conditions come together and you can count on it happening, I think it's time to make a change. That couple live for the pain it seems, they love to hate each other and all of the drama that it entails. Unfortunately it is a selfish way to live especially when you don't have respect for anyone at all, most importantly yourself.

My husband made a very good point. You can see how much they are suffering and it is really sad. It's like the snake eating it's own tail.

Being a Buddhist you would think that I would have more compassion and understanding for these people. I understand their suffering. I understand that they are grasping at anything just to be happy and ultimately it fails them. Life is suffering. I can only look at them like the Lamas look upon us students and feel sad for them that they are caught up in the cycle of suffering with no tools to help them. I think they are at a point where they wouldn't take the tools if they were handed to them.

I have tried to pray about it. Pray that their suffering ends positively. I know that we are connected to them karmicly and I can do my part by keeping my mouth shut in future and just pray for them. I just don't want my kids exposed to their negativity.

Anyway, that's my rant for the morning...

Oh did I mention that I was on auto-pilot this morning and spaced going to my departments off-site meeting near my house and drove down to work in rush hour traffic, not realizing what I had done until I pulled up into the parking lot and didn't see any of my coworker's cars anywhere!!! UGH!!!!!!

I'm beginning to really lose it I think...